The Awesome Adventure of Dean and Sam
by danceswpenguins9
Summary: Oneshot. This is a dream I had one night about Dean and Sam Winchester running into Harry Potter at Hogwarts. There is also some Star Wars in there somewhere... It's wierd but I thought it was funny.


Dean and Sam had experienced many strange things in their lives. But one thing they weren't ready to experience was the Harry Potter Universe.

Wandering through the Hogwarts Grounds, Sam and Dean witnessed unusual demons and evil, sinister creatures. The sight of centaurs, giant spiders, horned horses, hinky punks, and a half-bird, half-lion alarmed them.

"Dude, we gotta waste these evil bastards!" Dean declared, turning to his brother.

"Yeah, we should…" Sam agreed. "Unless…You think they might be nice demon creatures?"

Dean looked at his idiot brother sympathetically while Sammy merely blinked innocently.

"I mean, they haven't tried to hurt us!" Sam said, his puppy dog eyes getting worse.

"Sam! These things are obviously supernatural! So what if they haven't tried to hurt us, we need to get rid of them!" Dean said angrily. "Besides…I'm really angry about Dad dying. And I'm still having those psychotic urges and random moments of violence! Killing all of these things might help for the time being! Until, of course, you annoy me too much and I kill you…"

Sam merely looked at his brother, hurt.

"Oh, but don't worry, man. If I kill you in one of my psychotic rages, I'll feel really bad!" Dean said, putting a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Good!" Sam said happily, smiling. "I guess this might help me also. I'm still upset about dad dying too, and even the late-night poetry writing, expensive porn, and growing my hair long like an emo child isn't helping."

"Right. Well let's get to work on killing these bitches then!" Dean exclaimed.

"Killing what?" Someone asked from behind them in a distinctly British voice. The two brothers turned around to see none other than Harry Potter standing there.

"Oh, all the supernatural, evil stuff…You know, the horse-people, big spiders…all that shit," Dean explained.

"What!? You can't kill them!" Harry protested.

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"Because they aren't evil! And I won't allow you to kill them!" Harry whipped out his wand.

"Oh, give me a break!" Dean shouted. "What is with everyone befriending demons all of a sudden? They are evil! They possess and murder people, wreak havoc, reproduce, and spread darkness!"

Harry paid no attention to this and warned Dean, "If you try to kill them, I'll have to hurt you." He brandished his wand threateningly.

"Hurt me…with your little wooden stick?" Dean laughed and punched Harry, hard, in the face.

Sam watched Harry fall backwards before whining, "Stop it Dean! You're scaring me!" in a strangely high pitched voice.

Dean rolled his eyes and punched Sam too. "That's for eating my Lucky Charms, bitch!" He declared maturely.

Harry sat up, looking at his shattered spectacles. "You broke my glasses, you bloody git!" He stood. "AVADA KEDRAVA!"

Dean was killed instantly, falling onto the grass next to his brother. Harry then turned to Sam, who was sobbing pathetically on the ground.

"AVADA KEDRAVA!" He shouted again. Sammy continued crying.

Dean reached over blindly and smacked at him. "Dude, we're supposed to be dead!" He hissed.

"Oh, sorry," Sam sobbed. The two lay motionless.

Just then Hermione Granger ran down from the castle.

"Harry, what have you done!?" she shrieked at the sight of the two 'dead' bodies.

"Oh, they deserved it…" He said nonchalantly, mending his glasses.

"Harry," She gasped. "You're breaking my heart!" She was crying.

"Oh, for the love of…" Harry sighed.

"It's true, isn't it? What Obie Wan said? You have gone to the dark side!" Hermione shrieked. Harry groaned and used the force to choke Hermione.

"PUT HER DOWN!" a voice thundered. Dumbledore had emerged at the scene.

"Obie Wan Dumbledore!" Harry growled. "I should have known you were lying to Hermione about me!"

Dumbledore and Harry then started dueling. But instead of casting spells and hexing each other, they were whacking each other with their wands like lightsabers.

Meanwhile, Voldemort sauntered over to Hermione. "S'up, Hermione?" He asked, puffing on a joint.

"Oh, Harry just broke my heart…" She sighed, looking at him tearfully.

"That sucks…want a hit?" He offered her the marijuana.

"Sure," she shrugged.

**Meanwhile, **Dumbledore was desperate to win the duel with Harry.

"Look! A duck on high ground!" He pointed over Potter's shoulder.

"Ducky?" Harry said, his eyes bright. He whirled around to see the delightful, yet inexistent, birdy.

Dumbledore struck, stabbing Harry in the eye with his wand. Harry died. Dumbledore sighed; depressed that he had to kill the little bugger.

He was interrupted, however, by frantic screaming. Turning around, he saw Hermione's stomach expanding outwards. Voldemort's child then burst out of her belly and plopped onto the ground.

Dean sat up, his eyes round. "Awe, man, it's a demon baby!" He pointed as Tom Riddle III slithered across the ground. Sam sat up too.

"Eugh, how gross…It looks like a little bald tadpole…with horns!" He said, cocking his head as he watched with disgust.

"Hey, Dumbledore…That thing's evil, right? Can we kill it?" Dean asked hopefully.

"Sure," Dumbledore said carelessly.

"Great!" The two brothers chorused. Then, in a great display of team work and brotherly love, they proceeded to help each other with dousing Voldy's baby in gasoline and lighting it on fire.

Watching the flames grow as the tadpole demon baby burned, Dean turned to Sam. "So, what do we do now?"

"Well," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "I recommend we go get drunk out of our skulls at the Hogsmeade and hire cheap, goblin prostitutes from Knockturn Alley! Sound like a plan?" The two brothers eagerly agreed and the three of them left.


End file.
